Dead. Lost. Trapped. Absent.
Got Away. Missed. Speechless. Sick.
Down. Clueless. Terrified. Gone.
REJECTED. ABANDONED. ALONE. HURT.
- - -
I've been feeling down maybe about 4 days now. I really don't know why, but WTF I feel so rejected.
Like everybody's just passing by, not noticing me. What is it I have to do for everyone to see my real worth? I did everything I can for everyone to notice me, but apparently, someone or something always blocks and gets my spotlight. Or sometimes I just don't know why I'm invisible.
Is it because I'm fat? I'm ugly? I'm useless? I'm pathetic?
And there was this other day, I was with my friends. They were having their fun time, and I just sat there, saying nothing, left alone, quiet, unhappy. They were enjoying the day until they noticed that I acted differently.
Also, because of me, other people started to build their talents upon which I taught them, upon which I shared my knowledge with. And now they just left me. Then getting attention. Me getting nothing. It sucks.
At one point, I thought of hurting myself. But I didn't want to look like I'm a crazy person hurting himself just to get attention. I just want to be noticed. Noticed through the things I love to do. Noticed with the ones I love. Noticed with my friends. Noticed because it's ME you are seeing, not some alter ego.
Ugh. I feel a bit better. I gotta find something productive to do.
Till the next post,
